Touch is often taken for granted, yet it can strongly affect how we feel.
I want to share what I learnt during my Somatic Experiencing training and how it changed my relationship with touch therapy.
When something clicked
I've explored many different body-based practices over the years, but during my Somatic Experiencing (SE) training, something really clicked for me. In SE, touch is understood as both a biological need and a therapeutic tool. This approach has a unique quality.
What stood out is how our teacher guided us to practise, and as we practised together, I felt something I hadn't felt before. Nothing was forced or manipulated.
The first exercise
Our first exercise was simple: the practitioner asks for consent, then gently places a hand on the upper arm and holds in silence with full attention, listening to the body. At first, I noticed restlessness and tension in my body, but as my practice partner stayed present with me, I felt a surprising wave of relief and softness.
This patient, intentional, attentive touch helped me see how my body could relax without any pressure or performance. That exercise showed me the power of presence, allowing things to unfold naturally, the kind of gentle unfolding that happens when you feel truly heard, seen, witnessed, and received.
Listening to the language of the body
SE touch work is more than just learning new techniques to help clients release old stress. It's about slowing down and paying attention to the language of the body: the small signs of tension, the pattern of the breath, changes in posture, a softening or opening, whilst being present with self and the other as we notice these changes.
Attuned presence, rather than intervention, supports positive shifts. It comes from a delicate balance between giving the body enough space and support to find its own way home, tracking and following nervous system tension, and noticing the response of the physical body in a safe, respectful way. Knowing when it may be too much, knowing when to check in with encouraging words. Meeting the nervous system with respect, care and kindness.
When we pay close attention and care for the body in this way, things can start to shift and settle. New feelings of safety and ease can show up, even amid fear or shock.
Touch, words and silence
For practitioners, understanding the impact of our own system is essential. Regulating, grounding and anchoring our own nervous system coherence matters, as it directly affects co-regulation and the energetic field.
Moving between gentle touch, words and silence lets clients process physical sensations and also explore any emotions or memories that come up. Touch and words can work together for a more complete and supportive healing process.
I hope that as more people understand how vital touch is to the nervous system, our culture will find safe ways to include it in therapy. At the same time, it's important to approach touch work with clear boundaries, sensitivity and strong ethics.
I now offer Somatic Experiencing therapeutic touch to women at my practice in Newtown.